I've always wanted to be a regular meditator but have struggled with it.
People speak so highly of it and it always sounded like the way to go but when I'd try sitting for 20 minutes a day it would last for a few days at most and then I'd quit, wondering what all the fuss was about. I'd had no lessons and no one was giving anything away; I'd just sit quietly, cross legged or in a chair,with my eyes shut, in a quiet space, thinking that was meditation.
I had more success with guided meditation where while you're sitting with closed eyes, someone talks you thru a journey thru the countryside or similar and its very pleasant but I couldn't take that home with me.
Then as luck would have it I met and eventually fell in love with a man, Roger, who happened to be a meditation teacher. I live with him now and have been learning meditation this year. I did a 10 day silent meditation retreat in March which was also very helpful.
So I've discovered what a useful tool it is for dealing with emotional 'stuff' when that's present, or simply for mindfulness training which hopefully carries over into waking life, ie: when you're not meditating.
The method is from the Vipassana tradition and uses mental noting.
My understanding of it follows:
First the sitting.
I sit in my version of a half lotus position on a cushion on the floor but you can sit on a chair if that's more comfortable. If you're on the floor its helpful to sit on the edge of the cushion rather than in the middle of it as that helps to tilt the pelvis slightly forward which makes sitting up straight easier and more comfortable. You should still be relaxed, not straining to keep your back straight, just not slumped or hunched over. Find a position that works for you. Set a timer for 30 minutes.
Next the mind.
Imagine your attention and your awareness as two separate parts of you. Your attention is the mind that never stops thinking or being distracted by sounds and smells, aches and pains and other sensations. It flits from here to there like a restless child. It seeks stimulation...positive or negative.
Your awareness is like the loving parent. The observer of the busy, restless mind. It is not judgemental, it just sees when the attention has wandered off again and gently brings it back to a focal point you have chosen. For example the breath entering and leaving the body or, the sensation of the sitting body.
The way it brings it back depends on what has distracted it. With this technique everything that can be distracting is reduced to a sensation, described with a single word. This is mental noting. Its done mentally and not out loud.
So if I hear a noise for instance, my attention will immediately go to that noise, wondering about it, complaining about it, whatever. So I mentally note "hearing, hearing". The other words you could use are thinking, feeling, smelling, seeing (if your eyes are open or if you are visualizing something). If you become aware of a pain in your body, note "pain". If you are feeling a lot of anger, note "anger, anger, anger".
The other part of it I've found cathartic is the way you can deal with emotions. We know its unhealthy to suppress feelings and its destructive to take them out on people. But they're neither right nor wrong and its important that they are acknowledged and given some form of expression. This meditation provides a middle way. So if I'm angry at someone for example(living or dead!), in my meditation I can imagine them in front of me and I can allow my mind to do whatever it wants. It can scream abuse, beat them up, throw them over a cliff, or chop them up into little pieces! My point being don't censor the mind.
Its ok because no one is being hurt or offended, and, you're not hanging onto all these toxic feelings which can leak out in destructive ways. We mustn't judge what the mind does. Just allow it and observe with compassion.
The other thing I like about this meditation is that it doesn't require absolute quiet. So I can sit on my lounge room floor or even in my car, and hear dogs barking, children playing, traffic, whatever. Its not a problem. In fact its good practice for being mindful in the world, which is a very noisy, distracting place.
If there's no emotion or pain to deal with, then I'm just practising mindfulness. ie: when I realize I'm thinking again, I return my attention to my sitting body or my breath. I think a lot so I can spend 30 minutes repeatedly bringing my mind out of thinking and back to awareness of my body.
The aim is to have control over the mind rather than it controlling you.
I should mention, because I am asked, that I've never had a "spiritual" experience during meditation, or anything particularly remarkable in that way happen. And I don't look for it, hope for it, or expect it. Those things can come and go and at the end of the day they're just an experience and another distraction we can get caught up in. Because it can be so pleasant, even amazing, we start to hope it will happen again and that's the mind taking over again. The pleasant and the unpleasant experiences are simply that...experiences. They don't mean anything. They arise and they pass away. Just keep noting and returning the attention to your chosen focal point.
Let me know if this makes sense or if you'd like more clarification. I'm still learning so trying to explain it helps me with my learning.
Cheers!
